Issues...

After going several weeks with no real action on the dating site, I (Amber) am contacted by a man whose photo is not posted. Undaunted, I read his profile, and found it interesting--enough to write back and request a photo. He's a little older, but in a reasonable range, and he writes that he has a high profile job, calls himself "Sherlock".

He did send a picture, and I find him attractive-certainly not an ogre or Quasimoto...but here I must digress:

I married a big handsome hotty hunk of a man. Think Mel, Arnold, Brad...

And it was the biggest mistake of my life, so far.

His looks were not the only attractive qualities about him, because we had a lot in common and we had a good time together, while it lasted. But I must admit that it made me feel beautiful to be "chosen" by a man who looks like a movie star.

So, at this point, looks are only a factor to be considered. I want to be attracted to someone phycially, but that's only one of many considerations. I can't get into someone who is not attractive, or to whom I am not attracted, which is partially physical. But I am less interested in physically attractive hotties now. After my experiences, I'm interested in finding a good man to spend time with. (period)

Digression over.

I exchange messages with Sherlock for a couple of weeks, and I learn that he is in law enforcement, a "ranking" official, so to speak...this is definitely uncharted waters for me. But I admit to an interest in CSI and FBI profiling, and he seems very nice, so what the heck...when he asks for my number I give it to him. But I tell him if he gives me any trouble, I'll definitely call the police. He's amused.

We talk together easily, and he continues to call for about 3 weeks. I really enjoy talking to him, because he is intelligent, charming and understanding. And we have some common ground, as our professions are somewhat parallel...so we make plans to meet for lunch. When he came to pick me up, Sherlock suggested that he just drive up to the curb so I can get into the car (obvious police vehicle) and we won't look like we're meeting for the first time. OK.

We have a nice lunch, and I am really comfortable, like I am with someone I already know because of the hours spent on the phone talking. He drops me off after lunch, and says, "I'll call you tonight."

That call never came.

After talking for weeks, almost nightly, he cut off communication completely. BOOM!

I was stunned, and I'm still stunned, because it seems so out of character. Rest assured, I already checked him out, and I know he's truly divorced, and he is who he represents himself to be. So, I guess I don't meet his expectations, or something...Bad breath? B.O.? Food in my teeth? Butt too big?

(I had a ghetto booty long berfore J'Lo made it popular!)

A few days later, Tiffany told me that Sherlock contacted her, based on her profile. Like a true friend, she thanked him for the compliment, and advised him that we are friends. About a week later, he sent me a message that still doesn't make a lot of sense to me: essentially that he doesn't think it will work out.

Huh? And I'm thinking he's the nicest man I've met in, how long? Years?

And I still miss his calls. It's like I've lost a good friend. I don't understand why we could not be friends and continue to talk, maybe "hang out." Does he have issues, or is it me? My profile clearly states that I'm looking for friend, to take it slow, no rushing into relationship, because they take time.

Oh, I forgot...can't really tell by a profile. I'm wondering if the reverse thinking applies-if I say I'm looking for a new husband, will I find friends? Need to ponder that...