This is Amber signing in for a brief introduction. Where does an intelligent, attractive, divorced woman meet suitable men to "date?" You know what I mean by suitable: they're good on paper and good to look at...and can clean up and act appropriately for a dinner or social function. So, in search of suitable men to date, Amber and Tiffany signed up with a popular online dating service.

It was a challenge to begin with, because we didn't know what to write in our profiles or what kind of picture to post, or even search parameters. After researchinbg these issues with our friends who have more online savvy than we do, we learned some very important information that we are compelled to share:

1) Profiles: Saying things like "looking for fun" or "not interested in a serious relationship" communicates that you are looking for a casual sexual fling. So, the fact that we are looking to find "dates" not "boyfriends" or "husbands" has to be communicated in some other fashion. (Who knew that such verbage does not mean what it says?)

2)Pictures: Some people post really old photos of themselves, like "back in the day" pix that are not an accurate representation of their current physical appearance. (The nerve!) And then you don't recognize them in person. (Can you say false advertising?) Or, they don't post pictures at all, which often means they are in a relationship, perhaps married, and looking for a "li'l sumpn'" on the side. Or it's a con to get your private contact information.

3) Search parameters: If there are few or no parameters, chances are someone is just looking for a cyber relationship-who cares if they are communicating with someone a few miles away or in Australia? Fewer parameters increases the possibilities, while more parameters limit the possibilities, so the search parameters do not really reflect what a person seeks in a partner or date. (So this is how the game is played?)

And here we go...Tiff fires up the digital camera and we take "current" pictures of ourselves, because we don't want to misrepresent ourselves. We actually played "dress-up" to the amusement and delight of my daughter (she's 4) and took pictures in my living room. We did the hair, nails and make-up, tried a few different outfits and drank some wine and laughed about me standing on my head to make it look like I have cleavage...so now when Tiff comes by, my daughter joyfully says "Hey, we can play dress-up again-take pictures of me now."

Then we started with the profiles. Tiff did a great job on hers, but I had a really hard time making myself sound interesting without sounding like a party-girl porno vixen. (LOL) We started with narrow search parameters, because we are discerning......how silly can we be?

Our first mistake: being logical...

Here we go...meet bachelor #1-Dr. Yes: A 23 year old student (not a doctor of anything). My profile says that I am 40, and interested in professional men 35-45. What's wrong with this picture? Hmmmm. I wonder, Mrs. Robinson, what he's interested in? "And here's to you..."

But wait...here's another email from a new candidate: an older gentleman (58) and a real doctor. Not really attractive, but I'm trying to look beyond my typical physical "type" (more on the reasons later). He's good on paper, and he seemed genuine in his email. This is getting interesting...I'll get Tiffany's opinion before I reply.